Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
