I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
