I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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