talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
