I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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