just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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