I bet he comes in French.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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