Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
