you would pick up someone in the library
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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