she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
