don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
