I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
