I need help removing her.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You took a bar mat shot.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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