That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
