Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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