weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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