is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
