let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
