he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
whose parrot is this?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
