i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she looked like the before picture.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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