do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
