everyone is single if you try hard enough
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am midnight drunk by noon
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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