Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
