if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
