Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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