His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
