My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
