if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
