you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
