after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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