We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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