Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
