is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
