did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
