its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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