The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
