I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
