problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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