Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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