Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
