PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
