Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
