Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
two words: eviction party
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
