The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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