iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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