Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
