It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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