I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
