Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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