ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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