Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
