Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
