I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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