what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
