Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
