you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
